Even though it’s too early for New Year’s resolutions, my friend Heather and I are trying to improve ourselves. From centering prayer to tai chi, we’re open to just about anything that might enhance our bodies, minds and spirits. We’re not trying to make ourselves into different women; just trying to maintain what we’ve got so it will last as long as possible. As it is with many pursuits in life, sometimes it takes a while to find the options that suit you best. Such is the case with us.

Fall is hard for my friend Mallory*, as it was during this season that she buried her child. One day he was a college freshman in the Midwest, energized by classroom demands and delighted to have met like-minded peers. A smart, introspective kid, he told his mother he felt at home in his new surroundings, and he knew he had chosen the right school for his temperament and interests. Two months after Mallory waved goodbye to her son, he called to complain of a severe headache. A week after that he was back in Nashville, preparing for surgery.

On the dresser in my bedroom, next to the perfume bottles and the black-and-white picture of my mother as a sophomore at Ole Miss, I have a pottery jar with “blessings” stamped on it. It contains bits of paper on which I jot down reminders of what matters to me.