A couple of times a month I visit with an elderly woman from my church. I began going through my volunteer work with Stephen Ministries, an outreach program in which laypeople are trained to assist church members who need companionship as they make their way through difficult life situations. We do not pretend to be priests or counselors. Instead, as simple as it might sound, we listen.

After a year, this woman no longer needs a Stephen Minister. What she wants these days is a friend, and I am lucky enough to be considered such by her. Now when I drive to her home in the afternoons, it’s not to “check on her and see how she’s doing.” Instead, I go to learn about growing old with grace and curiosity.

On some days, our talk is lighthearted and of little consequence. A juicy item in the newspaper, perhaps, or a new restaurant I’ve sampled. On other days, we delve deep into our spiritual journeys, life’s most memorable moments, the state of the world. As you might imagine, her 88 years can speak to experiences both joyous and tragic. She shares them all. Every time, regardless of the topics covered, I come away with a piece of advice, an insight into human nature, or a funny story about the “olden days.” In short, I feel better for having been with her.

My friend no longer drives, so she relies on friends and family to get her where she needs to go: church, grocery store, beauty shop. She does not ask for much, finding comfort and joy in being at home with her books and her cat and her view out the window toward the trees, where she sits and waits to greet the next friend who drops by for a visit. 

Visit: http://www.stephenministries.org

Amy Lyles Wilson