This is not funny.

But I feel it’s my duty to warn you.

Have you been to the Sun & Ski Sport store at Opry Mills?
And if so, have you disrobed in the dressing room there?

OH.
MY.
GOD.

The mirrors have cellulite BUILT IN.

You know. In case you didn’t bring your own.

I was there to buy a new pair of Crocs for my older son, and I saw some running shorts on sale. Against my better judgment, I decided to try them on. Because after all, I do run. Daily. For exercise.

You’d think that would make me a reasonably fit individual, right?

Not according to the mirror at Sun & Ski Sport!

According to the mirror at Sun & Ski Sport, my entire body has been cobbled together out of Twinkies and cottage cheese.

Even my teeth looked fat.

I called my husband. Not frantic. Just curious.

“Do I have cellulite on the fronts of my thighs?”

“Who is this?”

“It’s me. Now picture the fronts of my thighs. Are they covered in cellulite?”

“The FRONTS of your thighs? No! Definitely not.”

And that, girlfriends, is how you get an honest answer to the question, “Do I have cellulite on the BACKS of my thighs?”

(Thank you, I’ll be here all week.)

Hey. I’m just happy I don't have to look in that mirror anymore.